Commitment

My friend is getting married this March. Didn’t surprise me that much cos for all I know, she has always been an into-relationship-get-married early kind of girl. She is that committed. Speaking of, we’ll be handling the making of the dowry and photo booth. I’m really flattered that she believes in her classmates to be involved in her wedding. Not that I am saying we are not capable, heck we could turn a lame event to a spectacular day it bring tears to even the most unbelievable person you can think of. Nadia keeps asking me to do business in event planning. Wait, that’s not the point I’m trying to say here.

Commitment, yes. Earlier tonight, I kept on touching Aisyah’s feet like some sort of Bidan and  I teased her that she will be one of our classmates that will be having the most children. How do you know, she asked to which I replied, cos you have many siblings that’s why, in which she almost kicked me cos she thought I knew it by touching her feet. Huh. So innocent.

Then, Nadia told me that I, too, will have lots of children. I hissed. Yes. Like a snake. Not that I don’t find babies adorable, I do but I don’t think I’m that ready to give up my life yet. Nadia looked at me with eyes that say “give up, that is what marriage means to you?”

No. of course not. I’m just not ready.

But if  I do get married and have children (which I do want it to happen but not anytime soon), let me tell you this, I’d go hiking, running, being busy, bag packing and probably I even said to nadia- bungee jumping even if that means I have to piggyback my baby. (if you happened to visit me 5 years after I get married, and I turned into some mak cik who stays at home all the time, just know that probably I had a change of heart and I decided to be a devoted mom- waaaay to defend yourself dell)  Nadia open her mouth, her way of saying- you will kill your baby. I will kill my baby yes, but if I’m ready, I can guarantee you that my baby will grow up to be a healthy happy baby.

Commitment. Why do people keep rushing into it if they are not ready enough? Lots of youngsters nowadays, get married early, now don’t give me that mengelak zina lecture, nafsu is controllable, but if you are not ready would you be able to promise yourself that you won’t be a divorcee 2 or 3 years from the day you get married? Worst yet, if you already have children, would you be able to promise your child that? I’m not implying that the only reason people get divorce is because they are not ready, please do not make such assumption. Of course they are other reasons to why couples choose to be separated.

Commitment. I’m really glad, no, I am really really really happy that my friend is getting married. Lots of people still struggling with their doubts, typing person included, but when you are over that phase of life and decided to get married, you are really really really lucky. So yes in a way, commitment is something I cherish and despise at the same time. The key is to be prepared. To get ready. To not rush. To wait. To be patient.

And hopefully, when you’ve done everything for you to be fully fully fully  ready, you can have your happily ever after.

 I want to be happy. I want you to be happy. I want everyone to be happy.